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Reality keeps trying to distract me from my imagination.

And...in other news:

Magic(TM) Rapture Procedure Guide

Effective May 21, 2011


Purpose of this document

As some of you may be aware, Harold Camping of Family Radio Worldwide
has, through intense study of the Scriptures, determined that May 21,
2011 will be the date of the Rapture, as foretold in 1 Thessalonians
4:17, when Christians will be "gathered together in the clouds" to
meet Christ. As this date coincides with a number of sanctioned events
around the world, including Grand Prix Prague, and is potentially
disruptive to those events, the DCI has developed the Magic Rapture
Procedure Guide (RPG) to outline policies and procedures for
minimizing the impact of the Rapture on the integrity of sanctioned
tournaments.


1. Player responsibilities

1.1 Should the Rapture occur between rounds, players who find
themselves ascending bodily toward the heavens must notify the
Scorekeeper of their intention to drop from the
tournament. Players who fail to do so will incur the appropriate
penalties for Tardiness in the following round.

1.2 If the Rapture occurs during a round, however, players who rise
heavenward without first seeking the permission of a judge should
be issued Slow Play infractions, just as they would for getting up
from the table for any other purpose. Note that players may
concede as they begin rising toward the clouds, in which case no
penalty should be issued. If possible, ask such players to sign
the match result slip and place a check mark in the "Drop" column
before they leave.

1.3 If both players in a match are called heavenward, treat this as a
loop of mandatory actions (players cannot choose to disregared the
summons of the Lord); the result is a draw.

1.4 Treat all other infractions during the Rapture normally; though
unusual, this circumstance is not considered exceptional enough to
justify further deviation from the IPG.


2. Judge responsibilities

2.1 Judges who find themselves caught up in the Rapture should ask
permission of their team lead to go on break. Failure to do so may
result in loss of comp for the portion of the event worked thus
far.

2.2 Per the DCI uniform policy, judges who are called up by the Lord
must either remove or cover up the black DCI shirt when leaving
the tournament floor.

2.3 Should the Head Judge be taken in the Rapture, he or she should,
per MTR 1.7, transfer his or her duties to a judge who is not
visibly rising toward the skies.

2.4 If the Rapture results in no judges remaining on the tournament
floor, again refer to MTR 1.7: the Tournament Organizer may assume
the duties of the Head Judge and continue the tournament normally.

2.5 If the Rapture results in no tournament officials remaining, the
event cannot continue, and should be reported to the DCI as
"Cancelled".


3. Scorekeeper responsibilities

3.1 Due to the proficiency in dark arts required to effectively
scorekeep large events, the DCI considers it extremely unlikely
that any Scorekeeper will be unable to continue his or her normal
duties due to being caught up in the Rapture.

3.2 Do note, however, the following addition to the DCI's currently
suspended player list; the following player should not be
permitted to enroll in DCI-sanctioned events:

First Name Last Name DCI Number City Country Start Date End Date Reason

MYSTERY BABYLON THE GREAT, 6666666666 Pandemonium Sheol -4004-10-23 9999-12-31 Unsporting Conduct
THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS
AND ABOMINATIONS OF
THE EARTH


4. Handling abandoned property

4.1 It is possible that, in the confusion of mass ascension, some
players will leave their belongings in the tournament venue. Lost
or abandoned personal property should be handed in to the event's
Lost and Found desk. Players who engage in looting or theft shall
be disqualified without prize. Spectators who engage in such
behavior, but are not enrolled in the tournament, should be asked
to leave the venue by the Tournament Organizer.


5. Changes from previous versions

May 16, 2011
Removed Dark Confidant example because it was confusing.

Taken from: http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showthread.php?t=325169