LDC was for me, a stressful experience. For the first time in my life I found out the kinds of pressure leaders undergo. The stress and constant need to watch out for not only yourself, but everyone as well. I learnt that in LDC.
Funny how the Leadership Development Camp for the Year 2s turned out to be one for me as well.
Guess it was 3 years late.
I never really felt comfortable in the front. The Year 2s stand around, staring at me during the hike, going "Primer, where to now?"
The sheer feeling of helplessness when I(We) got lost. The worry and anxiety when Year 2s and Year 5s started falling sick. When people went missing, only to show up later (having been involved in 'other business')...the feelings are hard to describe.
Perhaps there is more to being a shepherd than just standing in the front. Or perhaps I am getting this all wrong.
I am not a leader.
Yet somehow, somewhere, I find myself in BB Steering Committee, the "leading" body of the Boy's Brigade. Granted, I am but a mere secretary, yet it would seem I am still considered "Steering".
By the grace of the Officers, God, and the rest of my Peers, I made it through LDC without dying from stress. (Thanks to one Officer in particular, your words really helped me through). Life really is about people. The relationships, the bonds, and as a certain person likes putting it, all about politics. People Politics.
I have Dreams for myself. Dreams I would like see through. I suppose everyone has them as well.
Somewhere, somehow, there must be a balance. Between the dreams we wish to have, and the dreams others wish to obtain. The middle ground, where we walk the same path, diverting sometimes, getting lost sometimes, yet still work together towards the same destination, although our goals may be different.
Responsibility and Ability.
Duty and Dreams.
Each and every person, living with what they have, seeking the life they want; always chasing, always looking, walking the thin line between selfishness and matrydom, the tightrope of society.
Perhaps thats what life's all about.