Friday, March 21, 2008

A strangely poetic rant (at least at the back)

So many things I want to say, yet there doesn't seem to be enough words for it.

I think I can split my thoughts roughly into: Spiritual, Social and Self

Today marks the end of REW, religious emphasis week. My current stance on religion seems to be agnostic, in that I'm still half-convinced, or fully-convinced but just not speaking alot. (Some things about religion bother me alot)

Two parts: The pastor speaking and my own stance

The pastor who spoke this week was be frank, I did not feel inspired. At least, not by his arguments. His song and message, and overall words were indeed, good. But somehow I felt he failed to answer the very questions he asked.

Is Jesus the only way? The Christians say a hearty yes. Yet he contradicts himself, somewhat, but saying that God will reward each man unto his deeds. What does this mean? I'm very confused. Somehow I feel that this year's REW only managed to make me even more unsure of where I stood. If anything, its only positive fact is that it got me thinking about religion again.

Harsh words, I know.

Perhaps someday I'll find a proper answer. The best one I have now: All roads lead to Rome, and all paths lead to Christ. (Unless walked the opposite way, but enough of that). The defination of "Good" and "Evil" and what's right and wrong are too ambiguous to use as motivators for belief anymore. All I can say for myself is; To work towards my goals, to follow the Bible the best I can. I am not a speaker, I cannot bring myself to charm or convince people. Some would say God will empower me, yet I'm not sure when God will do so. So until someday, I shall endevour to keep an open mind, and keep working at what I do. Sometimes the subtle approach is best.

Social, I've heard the rumours. Or rather, the facts. Anyone who has been in my school should know by now who got sacked and for what reason. It disturbs me, greatly. Mainly for proving Tim Liang's point about how politics is everywhere, and also because now we have lost something we should not have lost. What is this pride, that it turns talent away? From what I saw, he made criticisms that all had felt. Criticism, especially constructive ones, do not come from nothing. If someone feels a problem exists, either he does not know enough about the situation (Something I highly doubt) or the problem really does exist. Heck, I'm not even sure if what he said could even be considered a problem.

In the end it really saddens me. Really. That people cannot be accepting. I suppose its understandable, being that as self-centred species, we wish everyone to be like ourselves. We wish the world to bend to us, not bend to the world. Our development as a species created such. A fox grows a coat to survive the winter, but men will dig a house out of the snow and light a fire. One manipulates himself, the other manipulates others. Domination is almost unavoidable in the latter, but is it something to be proud about?

Just because you have the power to control others does not mean you have power itself. The brain is useless without the body. Leaders and shepards must realise that, without their followers, they are [i]nothing[/i].

Pardon this selfish sheep's reflections, but a voice for the following is needed. People pay too much emphasis on leaders and politics now.

It is like a shepard that knows exactly how to prevent his rivals (other shepards) from breaking into the pens, but does not know the very basics of sheepcare.

And in the case of talent, we must remember: Talent does not need you. You need talent.

Hopefully he is in a better, less sensitive place now.


Or rather, how much am I worth? How much can I say for the value of my words? The above two posts for instance, were written somewhat with the "high and might" tone, (I think), but does that make me high and mighty? What is there to say what wisdom I think I have is just self-delusion?

So i've come to a conclusion, of sorts

I'm a bad judge of people. And the last person i should EVER be allowed to judge, is myself.

I cannot claim to know what I do is right, since the question of right is unknown to me. But somewhere, out there, I believe there lies people wiser or smarter than me.

And so I place this judgement in their hands. I shall continue with what I do, and strive in what I seek. Should I go wrong, well, all I can say is:

I'm counting on you.

I'm counting on my friends to hold me back. Because if there's one thing I can trust, is that I picked the right friends. Hopefully, if someday I start to screw up, go insane, or even plot the destruction of the world (which actually sounds quite fun), I sincerly hope for you guys to keep me in check.

Its a lot to ask for. I know.


Okay, thats the rant done and done. On to more interesting things

Could we see the world as a horse, and the people riding a carrige?

To the people, looking at the horse, we appear not to move. There is no progress, no action, for the distance between the horse and the carriage remains forever alike.

Yet if a person were to get off the wagon, and run, he would either see the carriage slowing down behind him or speeding up in front (depending on his ability) and so these people are the pioneers and historians of our world.

But because they are no longer on the carriage, they must strive on their own to keep up. Their actions and movements are no longer balanced by the horse. A person on the carriage can run around inside, but he/she will still be moving with the carriage.

A person outside must be careful not to trip.

I'm probably counted as a person on the carriage with a pair of binoculars, in that I am currently observing a bunch of slightly insane runners chasing after us, while looking at the even more insane sprinters dashing ahead.

Someday they will get tired, and slow down. Someday those at the back will catch up. And when we're all together again, we will board the carriage, have a rest and a drink. Catch up on times

And when they are rested, they return to their runs. Until they get tired, and return once again.

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